IF:
- You can’t be asked with Spell check and grammar on your CV
- You are not bothered that the poor Google translate version of your CV is not even complete
- Your Cover letter consists of only one line which happens to be “here’s my CV, let me know”
- Your CV and personal statement are one massive cliché.
- You answer all preliminary questions with a positive answer but your CV does not reflect said answers.
- You clearly didn’t bother reading the job advert and the requirements listed.
- I cannot tell dates of employment, employer names and key responsibilities from the essay-like style of your CV.
I will NOT be inviting you to an interview.
Let me clarify this first: about 50% of job applicants for most roles have a variable chance of getting the job. Said variability depends on a set of criteria comprised of essential and desirable qualifications, experience and skills. So out of that 50% only 5-10% will make it to the interview round because once everyone has the essential requirements covered, the extra bonus of the desirable skills comes into play. And I don’t need to remind you that Every. Point. Counts.
Some applications don’t even deserve the courtesy of a standard rejection reply. However, I do send them out because I know how disappointing it is when you hear nothing from a company at all, not even an acknowledgement of receipt.
Now, to the 50% that manage to overcome the poor application barrier – IF:
- You cannot be bothered to respond to your interview invitation.
- You request a different time because the original slot offered is not convenient and can’t be asked to confirm the proposed alternative.
- You don’t turn up to your interview.
- You turn up to an interview you had not confirmed your attendance to.
- You come in for an interview and do not introduce yourself.
- You come in and talk so much that I have to interrupt you in order to ask you the key questions.
- You can’t be asked to send in your references as agreed or to kindly decline the opportunity.
Then your chances to get the job drop even further. Because what might seem as an annoying set of details to some of you, is actually an indication of one or more of the following:
- You don’t care, plain and simple. (Tip #1: If you don’t care, don’t apply)
- You do not respect my time. I take time out of a busy schedule to acknowledge your application, read your CV and cover letter, reply to you, send you an interview invitation, interview you, coordinate with other members of staff who may need to be present for your interview, contact your references, etc. If you send me a crap CV, I’m not going to call you to ask for clarification on what it says, I will reject it IMMEDIATELY (Tip #2: Google is your friend, plenty of templates out there).
- You do not respect your own time. Sending out poor applications to what I am sure are multiple companies and not just the one I manage, is a waste of your most valuable resource – TIME. Coming out to an interview you are not prepared for or do not care for is also a waste of your time.
- You have no regard for the company or industry I work for (Tip #3 You need the job to make money, I pay you to make the company money. That cannot happen if you bring down the company reputation score)
- The ‘meticulous eye to detail’ and ‘outstanding communication skills’ you so ardently advertise in your personal statement are a damn lie.
- Your professionalism and work ethic are rather poor.
Some of you might argue that some jobs are not worth the hassle. I have news for you; precisely this bitter attitude is what keeps you from getting hired. Because guess what: no matter what the job, there will always be someone who is more qualified, better educated, and better prepared; someone with more experience, a stronger work ethic, and who wants it more than you.
And while you sit and waste both your and my time, they are out there getting paid.
Career Clichés 