I am 100% behind the expectation to know the language of the country in which you happen to live and work (just like I support the expectation of knowing the address of the dentist you are going to, prior to leaving the house).
HOWEVER… while there are some poor vocabularies and strong accents out there (and I’m not even counting the ones WITHIN the English language across Britain), the assumption that a foreigner cannot speak proper English, or that people from certain parts of the world speak bad English by default, pisses me off to no end.
My personal favourites: “Oh, you’re Bulgarian?! But your English is so good! I would’ve never guessed.” OR “Bulgarian? Really? Your English is great, you speak without any accent!” OR “You’re Bulgarian?! But you were raised here right? Because your English is really good” OR “Your English is great! I can understand perfectly everything you are saying!”
Every time I’m told any of this I smile and nod, and say “Thank You” while on the inside I’m just like : “HOW ABOUT YOU FUCK OFF!?!?!”
1) I DO NOT have a speech impediment and YOU AREN’T hard of hearing. Of course you will understand everything I say, you prick! Comprehension, however, is a separate issue, because it requires a level of intellect which you have just proven not to have.
2) Being a native of an Anglo-Saxon country DOES NOT guarantee perfect and/or accent free English. If it did, then the North East should be a sovereign state based on language alone…
3) I, just like many others worldwide, started learning English in pre-school. That’s 20 years ago! That’s more time spent with English grammatical rules than a good percentage of the natives, so yes I DO speak English correctly and I know how to use slang properly. U get me?
4) A am a certified English teacher, and a Russell Group graduate. The world of academia has concluded that my English is at a high enough level for academic discussion and research, and that my spelling, grammar and vocabulary are good enough to be taught to other people. And I am not the only foreigner with this type of qualifications! Hence, your bewilderment at the clarity of my pronunciation is both surprising and pathetic. I live and work in the United Kingdom, speaking English properly is kind of a rule. They actually teach us that in Immigration and Welfare 101 before we come over here! (And NO, that’s NOT a real class, you prejudiced twat!)
So yes, I am a Bulgarian with a brilliant English. You going on a rant about strong Eastern European accents you’ve encountered does not make your “compliment” any less offensive. And yes, yes, I know – you are not saying it maliciously; most of the time you actually think you are being really nice and friendly. I STILL DON’T GIVE A SHIT!
I’ll keep smiling and nodding in gratitude but just know that while I’m nodding I’m wishing you orbited a black hole*.
*10 points for those who get the science behind this statement
Career Clichés 